Hi! I am new here!

We are always and often told - Life your life to the fullest because you never know when it is your time is up. We may know someone given a diagnosis and a prognosis of a certain timeframe to live before they are expected to pass. We get these "shoulder taps" reminding us over and over again tomorrow is not promised and you better do what you love today. You just never know how your day is going to actually end.  I was getting ready to go see the Avenger's with my family. My fiancé bought us tickets opening night for us to go. I had to move a client schedule around so we could go. We were set to go. I decided I wanted to put on makeup before we left. I was in the bathroom and our bathroom has a walk in stone and cement shower with a stone and cement seat made into the shower. I was full dressed and had not taken a shower but I was standing next to the shower when my feet got caught in a toilet paper roll holder. Both of my feet became trapped and I felt myself moving...

One day while at work it became so clear to me. All my life I have fought to be me. Fought to be who - I - wanted to be. Look and dress the way that I want to. Demand others to treat me the way I want to be treated and know that I am never going to be what any one else wants me to be. I have ended relationships with friends and lovers/ husbands/ boyfriends that did not serve me. That were toxic to me in some way or another. So how in my 41 years of life have I been so brazen with all these relationships but the one relationship that literally is the biggest part of my day, every day? How did I miss that the place that I have spent approximately 24,960 hours of my life at is the most toxic relationship I have ever had. My place of employment. Then it hit me. If my job was my boyfriend, I would have dumped him LONG ago. So when this sadness hit me, like a huge brick wall, I realized that I needed to find what it was that brought me joy. So I thought about it one day about the things ...